Joke on BSNL customer experience…

I’m watching my favorite show (Koffee With Karan ) on TV, when the phone rings.

(Koffee With Karan is a celebrity inetrview show broadcasted in India)

There’s an agitated lady on the phone.

Lady: “Hello? BSNL? My phone has not been working for….”

(BSNL is a telephone service provider in India)

Me (interrupting) : “I think you have the wrong number”
Lady: “Oh! I’m sorry…” 

and I hang up the phone. 3 seconds later, it rings again. It’s the same lady.

Lady: “Hello? BSNL? My phone is not working…”
Me: “Ma’am, the number you are dialing is the wrong number!”, and hang up the phone. 

I return to the TV show. It’s a juicy episode with Rakhee Savant, and she’s bitching about Kareena. And the phone rings again.

Lady: “Hello? BSNL? Listen, don’t play games with me, OK? I know this is the right number. Don’t try to avoid me. Do you know who I am?” 

I realized that this lady was not going to let me watch the show unless someone listened to her complaint.

Me: “Welcome to BSNL’s automated fault booking service. To continue in English, press one.” 

beep

The lady had actually pressed the ‘1’ on her dial pad. Interesting. I thought I’d have some fun.

Me: “To register a complaint, please press the last 5 digits of your Driving License number after the beep. BEEP” 

I can hear the lady furiously rummaging through her bag looking for her Driving License. After a while

beep-beep-beep-beep-beep

She had actually found it pretty fast.

Me: “Because of all the SPAM we have been receiving, we will now perform a check to see if you are human. Please enter the result of 35 multiplied by 4 divided by 12” 

I can hear the lady shouting out to someone in the background.

Lady: “Prakash, quick! What is 35 times 4 by 12?”
Prakash: “What? Why do you need that?”
Lady: “I’m registering a complaint for our dead phone” 
Prakash (sounding somewhat confused): “But why would you need…”
Lady: “JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION”
Prakash: “err..it’s…aaaa…elevent point….errr…”

beep-beep

The lady actually enters 1-1 on the dial pad.

Me: “Your complaint has been registered. Thank you for calling BSNL”

The lady sounds pleased. I can hear her speaking to “Prakash” 

Lady: “I like BSNL. They have such a high tech system. They didn’t even have to ask me for the number of our landline that is dead. Cool!

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