Joke on BSNL customer experience…

I’m watching my favorite show (Koffee With Karan ) on TV, when the phone rings.

(Koffee With Karan is a celebrity inetrview show broadcasted in India)

There’s an agitated lady on the phone.

Lady: “Hello? BSNL? My phone has not been working for….”

(BSNL is a telephone service provider in India)

Me (interrupting) : “I think you have the wrong number”
Lady: “Oh! I’m sorry…” 

and I hang up the phone. 3 seconds later, it rings again. It’s the same lady.

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Common sentences used by all programmers….

Most answers are variants of:

  • This is hacky, but I’ll fix it soon.
  • This task will be easy.
  • I’m almost done/ Yes, it’s done. I am just giving it a finishing touch.
  • If there’s a bug, it can’t possibly be in my code.
  • I’ll add the Unit Test case in the next release.
  • I’ll comment and document my code later.
  • It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
  • I will finish it by evening it’s almost done.
  • Works on my machine
  • It’s 90% done

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Modified Murphy’s Law :)

Murphy’s Laws of Computing

  • When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
  • When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
  • The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
  • When the going gets tough, upgrade.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
  • He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
  • A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
  • The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
  • A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

Joke on system programmer :)

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?”
Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”
“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amy?”
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”
“Thank you, Amy” said the teacher. “What does your parent do, Billy?”
Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy’s dad said, “I’m actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”